In fact, the real action was taking place at a mansion in Norfolk owned by Amanda DeCadenet (remember her!), where performers like Leonard Cohen were being flown in and out with alarming regularity.

Obviously, I don't go in for that kind of shameless showbiz ligging myself, but my informant – who shamelessly does – also said there was a fleet of chauffeured Mercs ferrying revellers to and from Soho's Groucho Club, where he'd managed to join in the...er, fun.

He regaled me with queasy tales of the weekend and how he was kidnapped by Courtney Love, his new best friend, and partied the journey away with the less-than-wholesome-like Shaun Ryder – a man who makes Amy Winehouse look like Shirley Temple. Now, I'm only telling you this in the hope that sharing this awful knowledge (of which I haven't told you the half the lurid detail) will somehow wash away the dreadful stain it's left on my memory.

Anyway, enough of this guff – on with the week's entertainment:
Mostly Hums are playing outside at the Victoria pub in Glasson Dock this Saturday between 1pm and 3pm as part of the pub's beer festival.

Artists like Martin Simpson, Mor Karbasi, Mini Mooskia, Bill Lloyd, The Balkanics Band and Howden Jones will also be performing.

Also on Saturday at The Yorkshire House, hotly-tipped Lake District act Kyra perform with My Passion, Anna Karina, and Katabasis.

Kyra have opened for bands like Raging Speedhorn, Failsafe, My Passion, Fei Comodo, The Nothing, Saving Aimee and Aconite Thrill.

Their energy and on-stage presence has earned them praise from fans and peers alike.

Other highlights for Saturday include, Fugitive who perform at The Pub in China Street, Sold to the Sky at The Stonewell, and Suzie Beno at The Golden Lion.

On Sunday, Tin Pan Alley perform at Tin Pan Alley in Morecambe, according to the Bands in Lancaster website, while Brute Force and Ignorance take to the John O'Gaunt's stage.

Monday sees the return of Hayseed Dixie to The Platform in Morecambe.

More than a novelty band, they specialise in playing AC/DC's back catalogue in their own Mountain/Bluegrass style and have forged a global reputation for themselves on the strength of it.

The boys are Barley Scotch on vocals, Don Wayne Reno on banjo, Dale Reno on mandolin and Jason D Smith on bass, together they play good time style music and have brought the sound of heavy metal played Bluegrass to the world.

The show starts at 8pm and tickets are £12.50.

Manchester/Lancaster band Beat The Radar perform at The Yorkie on Thursday.

The band's distinctive music is centred on a unique combination of trans-Atlantic 80s indie guitar, rhythmical aggression and lyrical charm; inspired by personal tales of hometown apathy and drunken arguments.

East Anglian rapper Arkaic, Joyeux and The Ownage also perform.